Tax Guru – Ker$tetter Letter

Helping real people win the tax game.

Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Posted by taxguru on June 8, 2014

From Fred Thompson:

President Obama “absolutely” believes that Democrats will win back the House this year. That’s great news, since this is the same guy who predicted that Obamacare would save you money. 

 

The Justice Department filed criminal charges against five hackers in the Chinese military, accusing them of stealing American trade secrets through cyber-espionage. If the punishment is a fine, will they be allowed to pay in Treasury Bonds?

 

From Argus Hamilton:

President Obama was lectured by Uruguay president Jose Mujica in front of reporters on Monday about the need for him to close Guantanamo prison. If Obama really wants to close it he should turn it into a government-financed solar company. The doors will be shut in a month.

 

San Diego firefighters battled wind-blown wildfires Thursday that burned up thousands of acres. The government really stepped up. After two days, Governor Jerry Brown issued an executive order raising the taxes and regulations on state wildfires and they moved to Texas.

 

 

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Posted by taxguru on June 8, 2014

21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny  

Including these tax related ones:

Majority Leader Harry Reid is considering a plan for higher payroll taxes on upper-income earners to help finance health care legislation. So apparently, healthcare will be paid for by the New York Yankees.

 

What do Obama and financial scam artists have in common? They both say “yes we can,” they both give hope, they both take your money, and they both will leave you penniless in the end. 

 

What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts? Change.

 

What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and government bonds? Government bonds will mature someday. 

 

What’s Obama’s new slogan in these tough times? Spare Change You Can Believe In!

 

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Posted by taxguru on May 30, 2014

From Fred Thompson:

Asked about the number of Obamacare enrollees who’ve paid, Jay Carney said “we don’t have hard numbers, but we dispute their numbers”. Try using THAT one at an IRS audit. 

 

 An annual year-end kindergarten show was canceled at a New York school so the kids could prepare for “college and career”. So… they handed out student loan payment booklets & unemployment checks? 

 

President Obama is planning to punish Russia by using IRS rules to attack their financial transactions. Wait, I’m confused… did Russia threaten Ukraine, or call for lower government spending?

 

From Argus Hamilton:  

John Boehner will create a House Select Committee to investigate the White House cover-up of the al-Qaeda attack on the U.S. embassy in Benghazi. At the time the president knew nothing about the cover-up. He was too busy not knowing about the IRS targeting conservatives. 

 

Vladimir Putin’s wealth was analyzed by accountants Monday who estimate his personal worth around seventy-five billion dollars. The news drew cheers from the threatened Baltic states and concerns from Russia’s Army. They know how Obama feels about the one percenters.

 

From Conan:

Michelle Obama’s brother has been fired as the basketball coach at Oregon State. Like most Americans who lost their job, he blames Obama.

 

 

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Making fun of the Left

Posted by taxguru on May 16, 2014

With the Left controlling all of the mainstream media shows, it’s great to have alternative media, such as NewsBusted, to poke fun at the idiocy of the Left’s policies, such as these clips from this week’s episodes.

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Mad Magazine Tax Tips

Posted by taxguru on April 17, 2014

From their blog:

 

 photo MAD-Magazine-Tax-Tips_534c0e4a71747317976627_zpsd8b5194e.jpg

 

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Top Ten Accountant Pet Peeves

Posted by taxguru on April 17, 2014

From The Late Show:

 

 

If the embedded player doesn’t work, click here.

 

10. Self-adhesive stamps and envelopes mean there’s almost nothing left to lick.

9.  As soon as you buy a printing calculator, Apple puts out a new one.

8. All the friggin’ numbers

7.  Clients are so sensitive about going to jail.

6.  Cruel jokes about the size of my rubber finger tip. 

5. People who fill out disclosure statement form 8275 instead of regulation disclosure statement form 8275R — idiots

4. Academy Award winners who don’t thank Price Waterhouse Coopers

3. Idealistic youngsters who think accounting is just glamor and glitz.

2.  Only 6, 8, 9, and zero can be decorated with a smiley face.

1. Explaining to my wife how I got a paper cut on my ass

 

Extras from the website:

People assuming we all use steroids

People who judge me for sleeping with my calculator 

Immodest clients who freely divulge their annual income

If there are exemptions and deductions, why aren’t there “dedumptions”?

No one wants to embezzle anymore

 

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Funny video on wasting taxpayer money

Posted by taxguru on April 15, 2014

I have to admit I wasn’t familiar with the original song by Pharrell Williams that this video is based on, but this new version is funny and well made enough to stand on its own as an effective rebuttal to those who say it’s patriotic to give the IRS most of our money and allow our Rulers in DC to spend it more wisely than we mere mortals ever could.

 

 

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Posted by taxguru on April 10, 2014

From Fred Thompson:

Obama warned Russia to leave Ukraine alone or he would act to take a “toll on the Russian economy”. Watch out guys. Ruining an economy is something he knows something about.

 

A new UN report claims that climate change will wipe trillions of dollars from the global economy. No wonder Democrats want to stop it – it’s stealing their thunder.

 

 

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Game of Thrones – IRS Edition

Posted by taxguru on April 9, 2014

Funny parody of Game of Thrones, with the American IRS tossed in for good effect.

 

 

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We just have to laugh at the idiots in DC…

Posted by taxguru on March 22, 2014

Here are some tax and financial related zingers from the March episodes of NewsBusted.

 

Be sure to check out the full length episodes on their YouTube channel.

 

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