Tax Guru – Ker$tetter Letter

Helping real people win the tax game.

IRS is the Anus of the Nation?

Posted by taxguru on April 20, 2015

Amusing and fairly accurate video on the IRS problems by John Oliver, including a song at the end sung by by Michael Bolton, where they liken IRS to a certain part of the human body that is stinky, but necessary.

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Posted in IRS, video | Comments Off on IRS is the Anus of the Nation?

“Tax Week” Jokes

Posted by taxguru on April 19, 2015

An assortment from some of the late night talk shows, via NewsMax.

Letterman

It’s two days until tax time. I know it’s late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

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I told my accountant a couple of months ago that I’m getting ready to retire, and he said, “Oh, no. You’re not getting out that easy.”

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It’s tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn’t we just pay taxes last year?

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Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that’s just the folks here in the audience.

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Conan

It’s April 15, tax day. The federal tax code is over 74,000 pages long. But stick with it because after page 72,000, it gets really good.

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Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband makes $300 million a year. She has to get by on $200 million a year, and that’s not fair.

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Tax day was yesterday. And marijuana growers are complaining that they can’t write off a single expense thanks to federal laws. Well, apparently someone tried to claim the Phish tour as his home office and that’s not going to happen.

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Jimmy Kimmel

For the next hour, would you say you are relying on me to host the show? So, in a way you are depending on me? I can claim you as dependents. It makes for a big tax refund for me.

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The IRS specifically selected April 15 as tax day. They knew it was going to likely be a beautiful spring day and they wanted to ruin it for us.

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A study says that traffic fatalities go up 6 percent on tax day, presumably because people are rushing to the tax office and doing their taxes while they drive. If you are just realizing it is tax day, don’t worry about it. The IRS is pretty cool about this stuff.

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The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you’ve been overpaying all year long. It’s like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, “Oh, presents.”

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Tax Day Carols

Posted by taxguru on April 18, 2015

Katherine McPhee and James Cordon sing Christmas carols adapted for Tax Season.
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Posted in Music, TaxSeason, video | Comments Off on Tax Day Carols

Another type of “Spring Break”

Posted by taxguru on April 18, 2015

Tax Break from Funny or Die.

 

 

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How To Make Tax Day Pie!

Posted by taxguru on April 18, 2015

A very different extreme way for DIYers to handle their tax returns from Funny or Die.


 

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Dave Letterman’s Tax Day Traditions

Posted by taxguru on April 16, 2015

Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Accountant

Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Accountant

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

10. “I reviewed your bank statements, and they’re hilarious”

9. “I lost your W-2, so I submitted two W-1s”

8. “I spent all night caressing your receipts”

7. “I thought YOU were doing MY taxes”

6. “I’m having a liquidity problem, if you know what I mean”

5. “Calculator? You mean my ‘Magic 8-Ball’?”

4. Is it pronounced I-R-S or ‘IRS’?”

3. “Sign and date next to the mustard stain”

2. “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded”

1. “Can I have your boat when you go to prison?”

How Many Guys In Bunny Suits Can Get Into H&R Block? (From 1997)

Posted in letterman, video | Comments Off on Dave Letterman’s Tax Day Traditions

Why we will never run out of work…

Posted by taxguru on April 16, 2015

This also includes a great graphic representation of the sheer size of the Internal Revenue Code.

Look at how many pages are in the federal tax code

Posted in TaxCode | Comments Off on Why we will never run out of work…

Can they be any more obvious…

Posted by taxguru on April 16, 2015

…with their intentional work slowdown as a ruse to con Congress into giving them a larger budget?

IRS admits agency-wide failures, asks lawmakers for money to make it better

Posted in IRS | Comments Off on Can they be any more obvious…

Greedy Dims never learn

Posted by taxguru on April 16, 2015

California Democrats trying to raise cigarette tax

With their inability to be satisfied with only soaking nicotine addicts with 87 cents per pack of tax, the DemonRats want to tack on an additional $2.00 per pack.  The end result should be obvious to anyone who understands real world market forces, something Dim-witted politicians pretend don’t exist.  Smuggling of cigs from outside the PRC will become a booming business and the morons in Sacramento will receive zero dollars per pack.

Posted in SinTaxes, TaxHikes | Comments Off on Greedy Dims never learn

Best Code Ever

Posted by taxguru on April 15, 2015

Funny musical video about Tax Season from Remy via Reason TV.

Posted in humor, TaxSeason, video | Comments Off on Best Code Ever

 
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