Tax Guru – Ker$tetter Letter

From the 4/13/01 Late Show With David Letterman

10. Do ’em naked

9. Instead of restaurant receipt, send them leftovers from the meal in question

8. Frequent use of the word “eleventeen”

7. Claim a deduction, do a shot!

6. In “For Office Use Only” area write “Approved. Send refund immediately.”

5. Apply a long-term capital gain rate of 20% to a mutual fund, do a shot!

4. Sneeze on forms

3. Instead of using dated definition of income, use the proposed revised definition under section 643(B) in which conforming amendments are made to regulations affecting ordinary trusts, pooled income funds, charitable remainder trusts, trusts that qualify for the gift and estate tax marital deduction, and trusts that are exempt from generation-skipping transfer taxes — that always puts a smile on my face

2. Deduct $100 in medical expenses for all the paper cuts you suffered because tax form is 75 damn pages long!

1. Audit yourself, if you know what I mean.

Extras – From Late Show Web-Site:

Drive your IRS agent crazy by carrying out every number to the 26th decimal point

You know how people draw little lines through “7’s”, so they won’t confuse them with “1’s”? Well, leave them out and sit back and enjoy as chaos reins!

Save postage by wrapping your return around a rock and throwing it through the IRS’s window

Send back unopened form with words “not interested” across envelope
Instead of black ink, go nuts and use blue ink