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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Posted by taxguru on February 12, 2009

From Jay Leno via NewsMax:

Prosecutors have asked a federal judge to send former Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry to jail for failing to file tax returns for eighth time in nine years. He hasn’t paid taxes for eight years straight. So it’s either jail or a Cabinet position in the Obama administration. Take your pick.

Posted in Crooks, Dims, humor | Comments Off on

Posted by taxguru on February 6, 2009

From Scott Ott – Obama Plan Has Already Boosted IRS Tax Collections

Courtesy of NewsMax:

From Jay Leno:

This week in Washington, President Obama took time out from his busy day to read a book to a group of second graders. It was a fairytale about a Cabinet nominee who once paid all his taxes.

From Craig Ferguson:

Another Obama nominee had tax issues. Which just proves one thing: that while Democrats like raising taxes, they don’t like paying them.

Posted in Crooks, Dims, humor | Comments Off on

More Cabinet Jokes

Posted by taxguru on February 5, 2009

Via NewsMax:

Leno:

Obama is a genius. Whenever he nominates someone, they pay their taxes. He’s found a way to eliminate the deficit — nominate everyone in the country, one person at a time, and they’ll pay their taxes.

Tom Daschle withdrew his name to be in Obama’s Cabinet, due to IRS problems. He said, “I will not be a distraction.” Distraction is Washington talk for “Uh-oh. There’s a lot more crap you don’t know about yet.”

Daschle says his problems with the IRS were unintentional. Of course, they were unintentional — he never intended to get caught.

To Democrats, IRS means, “I’m really sorry.”

Letterman:

Obama has now lost two nominees because of tax trouble. Good luck to the new Health and Human Services nominee — Wesley Snipes.

Former Sen. Tom Daschle form South Dakota had to withdraw because he “forgot” to pay taxes on $150,000. I believe the guy because in South Dakota there are so many distractions.

Conan:

President Obama is working very hard to get the stimulus passed. He has asked the Senate to cut $50 billion from the plan. He said we no longer would need the $50 billion once everyone in his Cabinet pays his taxes.

Posted in Crooks, Dims, humor | Comments Off on More Cabinet Jokes

Tax Free Cabinet

Posted by taxguru on February 3, 2009

From last night’s Leno show, via NewsMax.

There was a huge scientific breakthrough today. Researchers say they’re very close to finding someone from Obama’s Cabinet who’s actually paid their taxes.

Tom Daschle, who President Obama wants as his secretary of Health and Human Services, apparently did not pay $128,000 in taxes that he owes to the government. Do you realize Obama hasn’t had a Cabinet member with an embarrassing tax problem like this since . . . the last guy they appointed?

Because of a huge budget crisis, California is now going to delay paying tax refunds. To which Tom Daschle said, “That’s why I didn’t pay them in the first place.”

From Andy Borowitz:

Obama Considers Tax on Cabinet


From Scott Ott:

Obama to Pick from IRS List of ‘Paid Up’ Democrats

Posted in Crooks, Dims, humor | Comments Off on Tax Free Cabinet

More jokes about the new Treasury Secretary

Posted by taxguru on January 16, 2009

Anyone who follows politics knows that if this were a GOP nominee, he would have already pulled his name from consideration. Since he is with the party that has no ethical standards, and the media are doing their job of covering for him, he should have smooth sailing into power. In the meantime, he has replaced Wesley Snipes as the new face of idiotic tax moves.

From Scott Ott:

Bush Offers to Pre-Pardon Obama Treasury Pick

From Jay Leno via NewsMax:

At his confirmation hearing, Attorney General nominee Eric Holder said that as far as he is concerned, waterboarding is torture. And Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said, “So is paying taxes.”

Geithner didn’t pay federal taxes from 2001 to 2004. He owed $34,000. But to keep his nomination afloat, he paid it this week — plus another $8,000 in interest. So that’s $42,000 the U.S. Treasury made — just like that. You know what Obama should do now? He should appoint Willie Nelson as commerce secretary. What does he owe, $28 million?


(Click on image for full size)

Posted in comix, Geithner, humor | Comments Off on More jokes about the new Treasury Secretary

Tax Day e-Cards

Posted by taxguru on December 23, 2008

This company has cards for just about every holiday you can think of, including Tax Day.

My favorite:

Posted in humor | Comments Off on Tax Day e-Cards

Rangel Audio Parody

Posted by taxguru on September 20, 2008

Rush had this funny parody of Charlie Rangel discussing his tax problems with his new forensic accountant on his Friday show.

http://content.screencast.com/users/TaxGuru/folders/Audio%20-%20MP3s/media/44df0713-2885-4cfe-85b7-bc6e19541b39/RangelForensicCPA91908.mp3

If this player doesn’t work, you can also get the MP3 file with this direct link.

Posted in Audio, humor, Rangel | Comments Off on Rangel Audio Parody

Future job market?

Posted by taxguru on July 20, 2008

Neal Boortz had this funny video on how CPAs will find work in the future:

 

Posted in humor | Comments Off on Future job market?

Can anyone be President?

Posted by taxguru on June 30, 2008

http://www.paltalk.com/marketing/media/vanksen/main.swf

Posted in humor | Comments Off on Can anyone be President?

Posted by taxguru on April 17, 2008

Letterman’s annual tax preparer top ten as delivered by ten tax pros:

Top Ten Reasons I Like Being An Accountant

10 “My exciting lifestyle is the envy of all my claims adjuster colleagues” (Arthur Drucker)

9 “I made ten grand doing taxes for Leona Helmsley’s dog” (Richard Koenigsberg)

8 “Numbers are my only friends” (Andrew Rubin)

7 “What other job allows you to show up for work in just a suit and tie?” (Lou DeFalco)

6 “Mild-mannered day job protects my true identity: Batman” (William Bregman)

5 “I’m always the first to hear about all the latest calculator innovations” (Steven Goldsteen)

4 “I was a finalist on last season’s “Accounting With The Stars”” (Vicki Penino)

3 “When some idiot asks me about a form 8038-G information return for tax-exempt governmental obligation, when they really mean a form 1038-R recovery of overpayment under arbitrage rebate provisions — that s***’s hilarious!” (Andrew Ross)

2 “If I screw up something, you go to jail, not me!” (Sandra Busell)

1 “I get more tail than George Clooney” (Richard Cohen)


Posted in humor | Comments Off on