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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category
Swedish Hero?
Posted by taxguru on April 11, 2010
Top Ten Thoughts That Go Through Every Accountant’s Mind On April 15th
Posted by taxguru on April 8, 2010
10 “If I see one more tax return, I’m gonna jam a #2 pencil through my eye”
9 “I think my calculator is talking to me”
8 “If I screw up, they go to jail, not me”
7 “Why didn’t I become something exciting like a claims adjuster?”
6 “Should I wear the navy blue suit or the navy blue suit?”
5 “Get through today and then a 364-day weekend”
4 “Who knew the bright-eyed little boy I once was would grow into such a bitter man with a soul crushing job”
3 “Time to fake my death and move to the Cayman Islands”
2 “Why did I waste time doing a stupid Top Ten at Letterman?”
1 “This would be a lot easier if I was sober”
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Posted by taxguru on April 2, 2010
Late Nite Jokes via NewsMax:
Jay Leno:
Today is April 1, April Fools’ Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don’t confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.
Jimmy Kimmel:
When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.
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Posted by taxguru on March 5, 2010
New Tax Credit to Incentivize Business to ‘Make Profit’ – This parody from Scott Ott wouldn’t be so appropriate if our entire capitalist system weren’t under such an intense assault from the Marxist DemonRats in DC.
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Accountants’ Top Ten
Posted by taxguru on April 16, 2009
David Letterman had his annual Tax Day Top Ten delivered by accountants last night.
Top Ten Things I’ve Learned From Being An Accountant
10. When you know the right people at the post office, it can be April 15 whenever you want (Phil DeFalco)
9. Wite-Out and 7-Up — surprisingly refreshing (Andrew Ross)
8. If you’re confused by something on the tax form, just write “Huh?” (John Fodera)
7. You do the taxes; don’t let the taxes do you (Richard Koenigsberg)
6. People will pay you a lot of money if you pretend to know how the tax code works (Adele Valenzuela)
5. The only thing more satisfying than getting a client a sizeable refund is the garlic shrimp scampi at Red Lobster (Doug Cohen)
4. Numbers is hard (Andrew Rubin)
3. After completing tax returns for 12 straight hours, your calculator starts talking to you (Sandra Bissell)
2. Always put your clients first… unless you get an offer to go on Letterman (Roger Levenson)
1. Women want me. Men want to be me. (Richard Cohen)
Posted in Accounting, humor | Comments Off on Accountants’ Top Ten
Crocodile Dundee’s Tax Audit
Posted by taxguru on March 31, 2009
This film trailer parody from the Australian show Chaser’s War On Everything cracked me up, especially the special way Crocodile Dundee has of dealing with his tax auditor.
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Don Rickles on our DC Rulers…
Posted by taxguru on March 26, 2009
I have no idea what show this transcript is from; but he has some good zingers.
Charlie Rangel… still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel’s the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He’s the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn’t he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.
Barney Frank – he’s a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider… he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they’re not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they’re still heading up the financial system!
You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Dodd’s involved in more shady deals than the Clintons. Even Rangel looks up to him!
Posted in Dims, humor | Comments Off on Don Rickles on our DC Rulers…
Visiting IRS HQ…
Posted by taxguru on March 4, 2009
Last night, we were watching a NetFlix DVD by the extremely funny and talented ventriloquist, Jeff Dunham, and he had the following short bit about our favorite government agency. As Jeff has said in interviews, he is lucky by being able to say a lot of politically incorrect things through his dummies that wouldn’t be tolerated from a human.
Posted in humor, IRS, video | Comments Off on Visiting IRS HQ…
Posted by taxguru on February 17, 2009
From last night’s Conan show via NewsMax:
Yesterday, one of Obama’s top advisers said that choosing Cabinet members is not like picking American Idol. Yeah, mainly because “American Idol” contestants have paid their taxes.
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Selecting a cabinet…
Posted by taxguru on February 13, 2009
From Jay Leno via NewsMax:
Just a few days after being nominated, New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg withdrew as the nominee for commerce secretary. In a statement explaining why he turned it down, he cited “irresolvable conflicts.” So apparently he must have paid his taxes. He just wouldn’t fit in.
Posted in comix, Crooks, humor, Obambi | Comments Off on Selecting a cabinet…
Tax Guru - Ker$tetter Letter 