From Jay Leno:

Now that marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado, in Denver they’re talking about taxing it up to 35 percent. Suddenly those drug cartels don’t seem so greedy anymore, do they?

 

The U.S. government had a $116.5 billion surplus in June. Officials say they are now conducting an investigation to see what went wrong.

A new poll shows that 26% of Obama voters think that Tea Partiers are more dangerous than radical Muslims. So… how many people have been killed by exploding Constitutions? 

 

Now open to the public: China’s “New Century Global Center”, which is described as the “largest freestanding building in the world”. Oddly, it’s not a storage warehouse for US Treasury Bonds. 

 

 President Obama has delayed implementation of Obamacare for businesses until 2015. Yes, much easier to implement when there are fewer businesses left to implement it. 

 

In Tanzania, First Lady Michelle Obama said that living in the White House is like being in a “really nice prison”. Yeah, if the inmates had an unlimited budget. 

 

The White House has ordered that Greek yogurt be added to school lunch menus. For the rest of the nation, Obama has ordered a Greek economy.

 

In an embarrassing incident, the IRS accidentally exposed thousands of Social Security numbers on its web site. And once they run Obamacare, it’ll be your colonoscopy video.

 

A new report says that Osama bin Laden wore a cowboy hat to avoid detection from US drones. Obviously they don’t work as well against IRS audits.

Another excellent Politickle from F.R. Duplantier:

STUCK IN DEBASEMENT
 Treat your people as if they were knaves,
 Make them crave what an animal craves,
 Confiscate all their wealth,
 Micromanage their health,
 And you’ll soon have a nation of slaves.

From Argus Hamilton:

Barack Obama was in Africa when he ordered ObamaCare delayed for a year despite the law’s mandate to begin this year. It’s not legal for him to do this without Congress. However, until the Egyptian Army can make it across the Atlantic, he’s pretty much got carte blanche.

 

Eliot Spitzer shrugged off his hooker scandal Monday and announced he may run for New York Comptroller. He saw Anthony Weiner is leading for New York mayor. New York doesn’t just screw the taxpayer, they leave the money on the dresser along with a commemorative photo.

 

Egypt’s President Morsi was arrested by the army Friday. The president issued laws by decree, he ignored the constitution, and he blamed his predecessor for the economy. Most impressive is how it only took Egypt a year to establish an American-style democracy.

 

The White House said Monday that people may register for taxpayer-subsidized health care on the honor system. The expense could bust future budgets without tax hikes. The administration prefers to shovel money into a problem because it burns cleaner than coal.

 

New York’s disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer announced Sunday he’ll run for New York City comptroller. He got caught paying call girls four thousand dollars a session in a four-star hotel. If he’s smart he’ll tell that to every voter who needs welfare and housing.

 

President Obama decided to allow people to sign up for taxpayer-subsidized ObamaCare health coverage without having to show proof they have no other coverage. We’ve always done well under the honor system. At the voting polls during the early days of the Republic, each voter had to give his word as an Englishman that he was an American.

From Argus Hamilton:

President Obama praised Nelson Mandela in South Africa Sunday. Proper decorum was maintained. President Obama refers to Nelson Mandela by his tribal name Madibah, while South Africans call President Obama by his rap star name, Biggie Deficits.

 

The New England Patriots halted sales of Aaron Hernandez jerseys Monday after his murder charge. His crimes against the state didn’t stop at homicide. For months he was under investigation by the IRS for being involved in a organization called The Patriots.

From Fred Thompson:

Nancy Pelosi said people should celebrate Obamacare this July 4th. Right. Is there even a rocket big enough to lift all 20,000 pages of regulations?

From Fred Thompson:

In a recent speech, Republican Senator Ted Cruz said that regulations from overzealous federal agencies are hampering the economy’s growth. That’s the government for ya. They put square wheels on the cart and wonder why the horse is so tired.

 

To get people to show their support for Obamacare, a liberal group is offering people a free bumper sticker. Or as they call it off the record: “audit insurance”.

 

A new poll shows that 70% of Americans hate their job. It also showed that 7.6% of Americans wish they had a job to hate.

From Jay Leno:

From Jay Leno:

In the middle of all these scandals, President Obama got some good news today. The IRS ruled that he can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.