From Argus Hamilton:

Jay-Z released a rap song ripping President Obama for not backing him up on his trip to Cuba Friday. He’d just been at the White House. President Obama is a big fan of hip hop music, in fact he’s the first president to have his own rap nickname, Biggie Deficits.

 

U.S. senators proposed various pathways to citizenship for illegal aliens Sunday. They all want the American dream. In this country, with a little hard work, a little luck and scrupulous bookkeeping, anybody can die owing the government a huge amount of money.

 

President Obama’s tax return showed he only paid eighteen percent of his income in taxes Monday. He made only half the money he made last year and only a third of what he earned the year before that. You can’t make it up, even Obama is doing badly under Obama.

From Jimmy Kimmel:

Today is April 15. You have 20 minutes to get your taxes in.

 

This is the most stressful day of the year for accountants, small business owners, and Wesley Snipes.

 

Why does the government charge us postage to send in our tax returns? We have to pay them to pay them. It’s like giving a slice back to the pizza delivery guy. How about you just deduct 75 cents from what I already paid?