From Argus Hamilton:

A Los Angeles squirrel was found dead of bubonic plague Friday. Six hundred years ago the bubonic plague killed half the people of Europe, and the labor shortage created a huge economic boom. But remember, if it gets us out of this recession, it’s just a plague.

 

President Obama spoke at Central Missouri College Wednesday. His staffers refused to allow College Republicans or anyone wearing patriotic clothing into the building. Everyone not allowed inside was forced into a boxcar and transported to IRS headquarters.

 

The IRS employees’ union stated Friday they don’t want to switch health coverage to ObamaCare. IRS agents have seen it and they don’t want it. ObamaCare limits the number of pints of blood you can have, and vampires won’t go any place that’s got a two-drink limit.

 

Saudi Prince Alawed bin Talal warned that soaring U.S. oil drilling threatens Saudi oil profits. U.S. oil imports are at a low and U.S. oil exports are up. People who used to accuse Barack Obama of being a Muslim never thought it might make him a natural oil sheik as well.

 

PGA star Hunter Mahan was the second-round leader in the Canadian Open when he left the course to attend his baby’s birth in Dallas and gave up the million-dollar prize. He’s not as stupid as he sounds. The taxes in Canada are so high that by not winning a million dollars up there and winding up in Texas, he came out a hundred thousand dollars ahead.

 

President Obama held a meeting with his cabinet at Camp David last weekend. They kicked around new tax-raising ideas in the next House budget negotiations. There was once a time when a fool and his money were soon parted but now it happens to everybody.

 

The White House asked stars to urge young adults to buy ObamaCare. Young people must pay to subsidize health care for older people, so their parents will live forever and they’ll never inherit any money to pay off their student loans. It’s only a matter of time before young people secede from the Union.

 

Saudi Prince Alawed bin Talal warned that soaring U.S. oil drilling under the Obama Administration threatens OPEC. Right now, Wall Street, big banks, and oil are booming and Detroit is bankrupt. Now it’s the Democrats who want to see Obama’s birth certificate.

 

President Obama declared Tuesday that the Keystone pipeline would only provide fifty permanent jobs. That’s true as far as it goes. However, you could say the New England Patriots only provide fifty permanent jobs but look at the jobs they generate in food, beverage, clothing sales, television ad revenue and, this year, blood spatter analysis and Bible sales.