From their blog:

From The Late Show:

If the embedded player doesn’t work, click here.

10. Self-adhesive stamps and envelopes mean there’s almost nothing left to lick.

9.  As soon as you buy a printing calculator, Apple puts out a new one.

8. All the friggin’ numbers

7.  Clients are so sensitive about going to jail.

6.  Cruel jokes about the size of my rubber finger tip. 

5. People who fill out disclosure statement form 8275 instead of regulation disclosure statement form 8275R — idiots

4. Academy Award winners who don’t thank Price Waterhouse Coopers

3. Idealistic youngsters who think accounting is just glamor and glitz.

2.  Only 6, 8, 9, and zero can be decorated with a smiley face.

1. Explaining to my wife how I got a paper cut on my ass

Extras from the website:

People assuming we all use steroids

People who judge me for sleeping with my calculator 

Immodest clients who freely divulge their annual income

If there are exemptions and deductions, why aren’t there “dedumptions”?

No one wants to embezzle anymore

From Fred Thompson:

Obama warned Russia to leave Ukraine alone or he would act to take a “toll on the Russian economy”. Watch out guys. Ruining an economy is something he knows something about.

 

A new UN report claims that climate change will wipe trillions of dollars from the global economy. No wonder Democrats want to stop it – it’s stealing their thunder.

From Fred Thompson:

The IRS issued a warning that people who don’t buy Obamacare this year will face a “shared responsibility payment” next year. All of which the government will spend on the ink to write “shared responsibility payment” instead of “tax”.  

 

 In New Jersey, more than 1,000 people showed up at an Atlantic City casino, hoping to get one of 50 jobs it was offering. Unfortunately, “getting a job” is the game with the worst odds in the place.

 

Russia said that if the US tried to impose sanctions, they would take actions that would “crash” America’s financial system. OK – line forms behind Obama.

From Fred Thompson:

A new poll shows that only 13% of Americans think the government should do something about income inequality. Now, now… the government’s already doing its best to make everyone equal… equally poor.