From the Late Show Archives, 4/7/10
8. “If I screw up, they go to jail, not me”
7. “Why didn’t I become something exciting like a claims adjuster?”
6. “Should I wear the navy blue suit or the navy blue suit?”
5. “Get through today and then a 364-day weekend”
4. “Who knew the bright-eyed little boy I once was would grow into such a bitter man with a soul crushing job”
3. “Time to fake my death and move to the Cayman Islands”
2. “Why did I waste time doing a stupid Top Ten at Letterman?”
1. “This would be a lot easier if I was sober”

