Tax Guru – Ker$tetter Letter

From Jay Leno:

From Dave Letterman:

We put up with the IRS. They weasel you and take your hard-earned money. They’ve been taking their tax dollars and throwing themselves lavish parties. I was thinking, “Yeah, well, what good is it being a bunch of power-hungry, jack-booted goons if you can’t enjoy yourselves, if you can’t every now and then pat yourself on the back?”

From Leno:

From Conan:

This week President Obama is going to be engaged in high-level talks with the president of China. Yes, President Obama’s message to China is going to be, “I swear we’ll have the money for you by Tuesday.”

 From Fred Thompson:

During a congressional hearing, outgoing IRS commissioner Steven Miller admitted that the IRS provided “horrible customer service” by targeting Tea Party groups. Sure. As if the reason we’re mad is that we don’t get a free pen with every audit.

 

The Internal Revenue Service has created eight offices and special “teams” to handle Obamacare enforcement. Thankfully, we can now afford that thanks to canceling White House tours.

 

In St. Louis, armed Homeland Security agents monitored Tea Party members protesting the IRS. Good idea. When people think their government is out to get them, the best response is to send the government out to get them.

From Argus Hamilton:

The San Antonio Spurs swept Memphis to make the NBA Finals while the Miami Heat tried to hold off Indianapolis. All four playoff teams left fans bored by their slow pace and tight defense. If they had played any more conservatively they’d be targeted by the IRS.

 

The Quinnipiac Poll said Thursday that seventy-six percent of Americans want a special prosecutor for the IRS scandal. The people don’t understand the process. Just because you get a special prosecutor doesn’t mean that you get the details of the president’s sex life.

 

White House logs revealed IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman visited President Obama one hundred eighty times. We’re witnessing history. President Obama isn’t the first to use the IRS to go after political opponents but he is the first to put them on an Enemas List.

From Argus Hamilton:

Capitol Hill prepared four IRS investigations for targeting conservative groups this week. It’s crazy. So many investigations are raining down on the White House that the governors of Oklahoma and New Jersey just declared the White House a disaster area.

Wall Street investors celebrated Tuesday as the Dow Jones averages reached double what they were when Barack Obama took office. Speculators no longer denounce the president for his socialist leanings. They’re starting to wonder what a communist could do.

Wall Street soared Tuesday with the Dow Jones doubling where it was when Barack Obama took office. The numbers don’t lie. They cement President Obama’s place as the worst socialist in U.S. history and President Bush’s place as the worst capitalist in U.S. history.

President Obama was in Chicago Wednesday for a Democratic Party gala. It’s the city where he gets his spiritual advice. However the president’s séance with the late Mayor Daley was interrupted when Al Capone broke in to gripe about getting targeted by the IRS.

The IRS was sued in Washington D.C. by twenty-five conservative groups for targeting them. The scrutiny went on for three years. Rush Limbaugh tried to draw tacklers away from the groups when he introduced his own brand of tea but the IRS didn’t go for the fake.

From Argus Hamilton:

Senator Lindsay Graham called for a special prosecutor to probe the IRS targeting of conservatives during the election. Don’t forget Hollywood’s role. TCM ran a golf movie marathon on Election Day that kept conservatives glued to their TV sets til the polls closed.

 

The U.S. Department of Education is reviewing a recent study that suggested different menus and different exercises for boys and girls in U.S. schools to fight obesity. The study claims that male fat is different than female fat. It’s true, male fat is canceled out by wealth.

From Fred Thompson:

In a recent speech, President Obama said that Republicans are “still telling tall tales” about Obamacare. Not as tall as that 20,000-page stack of Obamacare regulations.

 

Democrat Congressman Charlie Rangel said that President Obama needs to “give more of an answer” on the IRS scandal. Like what? “I really, really didn’t know”?

 

David Axelrod said Obama couldn’t have known about all these scandals “because the government is so vast” Really? This administration seems more half-vast to me. 

 

Turns out that, just last year, a group of seven Senate Democrats sent a letter to the IRS urging them to investigate conservative political groups. This from the crowd that abhors the notion of profiling at airports. A belligerent North Korea launched three short-range missiles into the waters off its eastern coast. No word on whether they were actually targeting the Tea Party.