via NewsMax because I don’t watch any of these shows.

Conan:

There is a record number of Americans now who owe so much in back taxes that they are renouncing their U.S. citizenship. These Americans were offered a place in Nicholas Cage-istan.

Craig Ferguson

It’s a great day if you like paying your taxes. It is your patriotic duty. A painful, annoying patriotic duty.

If nobody paid taxes, imagine what the country would be like. America would be flat broke. All right, we’d be more flat broke.

This year the government will spend a trillion dollars more than it will take in. Experts say 32 percent of our taxes go to defense. And the rest buys hookers for the Secret Service.

According to his tax return, President Obama made $800,000 last year. In fact, the president made so much money that today he endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

Jimmy Kimmel

In case you’re wondering where your tax dollars go, 21 percent goes to Medicare and Medicaid, 20 percent to social security, 20 percent to defense spending, and the other 39 percent they squander.

I don’t mind paying taxes. But what I don’t get: When we send in our return, why do we have to put stamps on the envelope? Can’t they give us a pass on that?

The IRS is very into social media now. They have five different Twitter accounts. And while you may not be following them, they are definitely following you.

The IRS also has four Facebook pages and zero friends on all of those.

The deadline to file your tax returns was last night at midnight. If you forget, don’t worry. The IRS never checks.