Shocking Excerpt: IRS Questions To Conservative Groups –  Parody, but not too far off the mark.

From Leno:

This week will mark the 37th time House Republicans have tried to repeal Obamacare. If Republicans really wanted to do away with Obamacare they should just endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take it down.

 

President Obama announced the appointment of a new acting commissioner of the IRS — the other guy was fired. See, they’re called “acting commissioner” because you have to act like the scandal doesn’t involve the White House.

 

A lot of critics are now comparing President Obama to President Nixon. The good news for Obama? At least he’s no longer being compared to President Carter.

 

It has not been a good week for President Obama. You’ve got Benghazi, the IRS scandal, this AP records scandal, and, worst of all, his Chicago Bulls got eliminated by the Miami Heat. Do you know what that means? LeBron James is going to get audited by the IRS.

 

This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Watergate hearings. For those of you too young to remember, back then the administration had an enemies list. They were spying on reporters, and they used the IRS to harass groups they didn’t like. Thank God those days are gone forever.

 

A lot of critics are comparing President Obama to President Richard Nixon, which is unfair. Nixon’s unemployment rate was only 5 percent.

 

This whole IRS thing has become a huge story. They apparently were targeting conservative groups like the tea party. You know it’s bad when President Obama says, “Hey, why don’t we talk about Benghazi?”

 

The National Aquarium in Washington is going to close. But don’t worry. If you’re in D.C. and you still want to smell something fishy, stop by the White House. They’ve gone from “Change you can believe in” to “Changing the story until you believe it.”

From Jimmy Fallon:

A town in Minnesota has appointed a 4-year-old boy to be its mayor. People got pretty annoyed when he said his first plan was “waising taxes.”

 

Eagles’ offensive lineman Evan Mathis posted a picture on Instagram that shows him relieving himself on an IRS building with a caption that says, “Audit this!” Or as the IRS said, “OK, see you tomorrow at noon.”

 

The Surgeon General advised Americans who will sunbathe on Memorial Day to use sunscreen on the beach or at the pool. She said to stay covered. When the White House heard that the Surgeon General was an expert on covering up, they put her in charge of the IRS.

 

South Carolina’s Mark Sanford was sworn into Congress this week. He won by telling voters the Bible says sinners should be forgiven seventy times seven times. Afterwards he was surrounded by Members asking him if he would teach them how to use a calculator.

 

 

USA Today reported Wednesday that liberal groups got a pass from the IRS as the IRS targeted GOP conservative groups. Hollywood took note. It appears that Lindsay Lohan was going to jail for tax evasion til she shrewdly changed her name to Obama for America.

 

The IRS Commissioner resigned Wednesday in the scandal over the agency targeting conservatives. They asked Tea Party groups for donor lists, Facebook postings and radio show transcripts, under the penalty of perjury. It didn’t scare us in California, where the jails are full.

From Craig Ferguson:

The IRS has a new boss after it came out they unfairly targeted tea party groups. The president says the new IRS chief is not only good with numbers, but he has more integrity than the last guy. It’s Bernie Madoff.